Two Hate Friends Get Together and One Loses their Shit
by Prinnyramza
Summary: Karkat doesn't often gets guest. Especially ones who just finished screwing over everyone he knew just days ago. [Copying over from AO3. Originally published 2014-10-12]


"H8y Karkaaaaaaaat."

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU'RE DOING HERE?" he slammed the door shut way at a speed several times faster then he opened it. He shouldn't have been surprised when he blinked and then suddenly the door was right back to being open. The other troll had a smug grin on her mug.

When he had answered the door it was done slowly like he didn't quite understand the concept of a door knocking and wondered whether or not he should just ignore it as oppose to now where he knows for a fact that he should had ignored it. On the other side of the door was a admittedly attractive girl with long hair and over sized glasses. She also had a robotic left arm and bandages covering half her face and thanks to recent chat logs, warning bells were sounding throughout Karkat's skull like he had a concussion.

Vriska Serket. This was Vriska fucking Serket at his door.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" Wink, or she would've winked or ;;;;) as she often did the few time he had the unfortunate to have chatted with her, but currently however he just had to imagine the wink considering that one of her eyes were currently burned out of it's socket and she no doubt couldn't afford to temporally blind herself with the exception of occasionally blinking.

He resigned to the fact that if he continued to try to closed the door once more that she would just force him to open it again and again. So he cleared his throat and spoke calmly "HOW FUCKING RUDE OF ME. WELCOME YOU BACKSTABBING HARLOT. WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TEA? DON'T WORRY I PREPARED AND POSIONED MY OWN CUP SO THAT YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE TROUBLE. NOT LIKE THAT'S GOING TO STOP YOU."

He wasn't really good at speaking calmly.

"That's no fun. I don't need a handicap Kar. I'm perfectly capable of culling you on my own." She said casually before stepping in as Karkat took a step back in pants soiling fear.

She swept her sight once around his respite block. "So this is your place? A 8it small compare to what I'm use to anyway."

As if he didn't already know about that fortress she called a hive. He would've almost had forgotten her living conditions if it wasn't one of the many things that she had forced him to listen to as she bragged about herself.

"This pl8 is so freaking dull looking. Is there any wall here not covered by a romcooooooooom?"

"WHO THE FUCK DO-" he felt a kind of daze hit him, forcing his mouth shut. She turned towards him, her face full of false ignorance.

"You're almost as 8ad as Tarvos." she said before turning away from him again to wander over to a shelf full of movies.

"WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU GET OFF. BARGING IN HERE LIKE THE FREAKING CONDENSES HERSELF AND COMPARING ME TO THE STUTTERING MESS THAT IS THE TROLL WHO ONLY DREAM IS TO ONE DAY SPONTANEOUSLY GROW A SET OF WINGS AND FLY LIKE THE PIXIES THAT ONLY FUCKING GAMZEE CAN SEE?"

She looked like she was about to wave him off but she couldn't have been ready for Karkat inhale and continue his tantrum, "AND SPEAKING OF 'PUPA PAN'"

Karkat took a step towards the other troll before lowly growling "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO HIM AND TEREZI."

She turned her head to him and scowl across her face.

"SO IF YOU THINK I'M GOING TO JUST STAND HERE HERE AND JUST WAIT FOR YOU TO WRAP YOUR HANDS AROUND MY FOOD CHUTE THEN YOU CAN EXPECT TO QUICKLY RECEIVE THE REWARD FOR EXCELLENCE IN STUPIDITY AND I ASSURE YOU ITS BEEN QUITE A COMPETITION SO FAR CONSIDERING THE MORONS WE KNOW."

Vriska glared at him before breathing in and rendering her face into a neutral expression. Her hands closing tightening around an object that could only be in her mind and then suddenly going against Karkat's expectations she says "At least Pupa actually leaves his room. I got to say Karkat, you were incredi8le hard to find. It was like no one living round here knew you exist."

She stepped to the side in a motion one normally would imagine was to get a better at Karkat's movie collection that she was suddenly very much interested in. "The one guy who saw you only knew you as the troll wore a gr8y symbol. Looks like that's the only think interesting about you."

Karkat could feel his teeth grinding together but he didn't dare to actually do anything active about the intruder in his house, "I'M SURPRISE THAT THEY WOULD'VE SAID ANYTHING AT ALL. I WOULD OF THOUGHT THAT THEIR SCENT CATCHERS WOULD HAVE PICKED UP ON THE CONSTANT LAYER OF BLOOD THAT WRAPS AROUND YOU EVERYWHERE YOU GO AND THEY WOULD'VE RAN OFF LIKE A PACK OF BEAST."

He was notably frustrated "THEN AGAIN I'VE LIVED HERE ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT THOSE NOOK LICKERS PROBABLY ASSUME THAT IT WAS THE SMELL OF THEIR BRAINS LEAKING OUT OF THEIR HEADS AFTER ONE TOO MANY NIGHTS OF SLAMMING THEIR HEAD ON STONE, PUKING OUT INTELLIGENABLE SOUNDS WHILE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WAYS FOR THEM TO EVENTUALLY END THEMSELVES AS IF ITS THE NATIONAL SPORT OF TROLL SOCIETY."

Vriska paused before turning to him, mouthing something that looked like 'oh' before grinning "Is that why you don't hang out with any of them. Their skill level just can't match your brand of head slamming technique." she let out a laugh, "You've smash your head on the keyboard every time I've talk to you."

"REALLY?" his voice dripped with contempt "I CAN'T FUCKING IMAGINE WHY. MAYBE I WAS JUST OFF THAT DAY. ALLOW WE TO GIFT YOU AN APOLOGETIC 'FUCK YOU'"

She nearly snared at the anonymous blooded troll. "Gog, do you really hate me this much?"

Her back was straight as she took a step towards him, "I mean if you can hang around with 'Terezi' all the time. I can't see why you can't be civil with me for 8ight minutes."

Karkat let his head dropped back mockingly pondering what an answer before opening his mouth "I CAN THINK OF A REASON. LETS MAKE IT A FUCKING GAME."

His eyes lit up with sarcasm and he let out admittedly angry looking smile "IT MIGHT BE BECAUSE TEREZI DIDN'T A; BLIND ONE OF MY FRIENDS USING THE GAS ORB IN THE SKY KNOWN AS THE FUCKING SUN. B: THROW ANOTHER DOWN A CLIFF UNTIL THEY BECAME INVALID, C: MURDER THE FUCK OUT OF ANOTHER OR D: ALL THE GOG DAMN ABOVE. DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?"

His smile dropped as he looked at Vriska who glared back him. He waited for her to open for mouth, "So-" just so he could interrupt her "BBZZZZ- TOO LATE, THE CORRECT GUESS WAS D, YOU GO HOME WITH NOTHING BUT STILL EARN THE RIGHT TO HAVE YOUR ASSHOLE BITTEN OFF BY A RAGING SCALE BEAST."

She blinked at him and sighed. Which Karkat had to admit was something that he wouldn't imagine Vriska doing outside of playful mockery, but here she was, staring at him like a disproving lucii, "So one of these movies, you want to watch one?"

Well normally this is where Karkat would had acted in the way of flipping the fuck out while tearing his own walls apart in frustration however strangely enough there wasn't any of that. Well not too strange because apparently that is when Vriska remembered that she could control minds but still it felt weird when Karkat went from thoroughly chewing miss spider bitch out to calming sitting down and watching a troll Vince Vaughn movie.

"So they aren't flush for each other anymore but are so red for their respiteblock that they can't just split?" Vriska had her legs curled up against her chest as she sat back on the sofa; one that was located in one of the few other rooms in Karkat's hive. One that he very rarely was in considering that he could watch most movies by himself on his husktop. She was looking surprisingly cozy, Karkat thought once he got over the mental whiplash cause by Vriska - who he thought was going to be his murderer in the near future- sitting him down to watch a romcom. Karkat for the most part was - without passing out from pure rage - without words. "This is pretty lame. Are all the movies like this? Aren't there any ones with explosions."

This wouldn't last too long.

"This sounds promising 'Two Trolls from Different Hemocaste Work Together to Save a Wiggler and Soon Finds Themselves in a Healthy Moirailliagence: There will be Several Fight Scenes and Starship Chases'"

"WHY ARE YOU HERE?"

She looked at him and said "Can I just spend some time next to a friend Karkat?" in a tone that for a moment he thought was sincere but her usually smirk hinted to her being her normally cruel self.

"WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. YOU GOG DAMN SOCIOPATH."

She rolled her good eye before uttering "Come on, you have no problem chatting with Eridan." she leaned towards him "Your standards can't be so impossibly high as to exclude someone as sly as me can they?"

He scooted away, facing towards him as far as he could while still sitting his ass down on the sadly uncomfortable couch, "ERIDAN DIDN'T KILL ANYONE.

"He helps me take down trolls all the time. "

Karkat bought his hand to his eyes and stopped a scream that was balling up in his throat before he tried to calming explain why there was a difference between what Eridan and Vriska did. This being Karkat, it still was way above appropriate speaking volume "HOLD THE LASER FIRE FOLKS BEFORE WE LET ALL THE HOOF BEAST SHIT OUT SO THAT THE I CAN POINT OUT THE SMALL DETAIL THAT ERIDAN NEVER BACK STABBED FEFERI OR ANYONE OF THE ADMITTEDLY LIMITED NUMBER OF TROLLS HE HAS SPOKEN WITH WHO DIDN'T WANT TO IMMEDIATE CULL THEMSELVES WITH A JAGGED KNIFE LIKE A WEEABOO HONOR RITUAL."

It was Vriska turn to grind her teeth and try vigorously to keep her claws from her hair because she knew that she couldn't resist the temptation of pulling chucks of it out if she got her hands on it "What the fuck? Why don't you choke on his 8ulge than?" she stood up, "That's the only reason the guy hasn't fulfilled his life long dream of and this is in his own fucking words, 'exterminating all piss 8looded land dwellers.'"

She stepped forward and grabbed a bundle of Karkat's shirt. "That guy would have gladly shot everyone of us in our recuperacoon, miles away if he could muster up the will power to stop lusting after any of us 'piss 8loods.'" She was shaking him a bit, not enough to actually cause amount of dizziness, so he wrote it off as a sub conscience gesture.

"SHIT DIDN'T SEEM TO STOP YOU."

She paused, her eye wide open. She didn't even take the occasional blink. She just stared down at Karkat from pure shock. "YOU WENT ON TO BREAK TARVOS IN HALF LIKE YOU DIDN'T STALK HIS EVERY MOVE LIKE A MEOW BEAST IN HEAT."

She had the decency to blush. Her face was now a very prominent cobalt color, which if was on any other troll he would of found just a bit cute. This look however was on Vriska and Karkat was going to have none of that. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING NOW? BLUSHING LIKE A FLUSH STRUCK HEROINE IN A ROMCOM. ONE THAT IF EXISTED TO CATER TO YOU I WOULD BURN TO ASH BEFORE BEGUGLING PUTTING IT INTO MY SHELVE RESERVED FOR THE WORST PIECE OF SHIT MOVIES EVER. EVERYONE KNEW YOU WANTED TO JUMP TARVOS BUGLE."

It was his turn to stand and he did so with a strange amount of bravo. At this point it felt as if his angry had kick him in the back of his head until all he could focus on was hurting the other troll in front of him, "FOR A TROLL WHO PRIDES HERSELF FOR HAVING ALL THE SMART; 'ALL OF IT'" he let out a breathless laugh, "YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A SPECIAL CONCENTATION OF SELF DENIAL."

He was gasping for air for a bit, staring at the for lack of better words surprised expression on Vriska face who could for a bit do nothing but match Karkat's breathing though in a much gentler pace.

She looked down and then up and down again before bring her hands to her mop like hair and scratching the back of her head.

"You're a 8it forceful with your 8lack confessions aren't you Karkat."

"DON'T YOU DARE EVEN SUGGEST THAT I HAVE EVEN A HINT OF ANY KIND OF AFFECTION FOR YOU." If anyone mentioned this in the future Karkat would probably say that he blacked out for a moment because to his surprise he actually reached out and grabbed the much stronger troll by the shirt and was pulling her. He didn't know if it was because she wasn't struggling or if his rage had fully consumed him turning into some kind of twisted wrath demon, but he didn't really care because he wanted to throttle her. "YOU KILLED ARADIA AND USED THE BIPOLAR JACKASS THAT I CALL MY BEST FRIEND TO DO IT."

His grip was so tight at he felt his own nails starting to go into his palm through her shirt. "TEREZI IS BLIND, TARVOS CAN'T WALK. IF THERE IS ANY TYPE OF HATRED I HOLD FOR YOU. IT IS A DEEP MURDER HATE THAT SHAKES ME TO THE CORE THAT WILL ONE THAT NO DOUBT WILL VIBRATE ME UNTIL I ALINE PERFECTLY WITH ANOTHER DIMENSION CONSTRUCTED OF PURE 'FUCK YOUS'"

"I d8n't-" Vriska swallowed something that must've been in her throat because she nearly squeaked, instead to bluntly stated, "Terezi and I have a truce. We're cool now. I apologized. they just need to get over it."

The words felt off as if she didn't quite know how to pronounce them and her eye wasn't looking at Karkat or anywhere near where he was, an impression task considering that he was close enough that she could feel his breathe.

"SHE WILL NEVER GET OVER IT. OF THE GROUP OF DUMBASSES WE KNOW, YOU HURT EVERY TROLL THAT SHE HAS CARED ABOUT. FOR WHAT REASON WOULD SHE EVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN?" His voice cracked and he let out a breathe that shook him.

"i wasn't even close to them as her, but they were my friends too." He wasn't even sure if he was even really speaking to her or speaking at her generally direction considering that she had seemed to given up speaking to him and found the floor to be a much more interesting sight. He couldn't blame her for that neither. He found that his gaze was down on her lap as his head hung down.

He spoke again with a burst of energy.

"THE ONLY REASON I HAVEN'T TRYING CULLING YOU ON SIGHT IS THAT I LIKE KANAYA ENOUGH NOT TO OFF HER MOIRAIL."

He didn't actually believe anywhere in his person that he could last seconds against Vriska nor did he believe that he would actually tried if he was that confident. While he couldn't quite see her as a friend right now, doesn't mean that she wasn't one of the few douches on Alternia that he spoke to. Internally he knew it was an extremely weak bluff, so it surprised him when he saw cobalt droplets fall down onto Vriska's lap.

"NOPENOPENOPE" Karkat continued a barrage of noes as he stared at the offending puddle of blue that would've threatened to stain Vriska's pants if they didn't share such a similar coloring. He wanted to grab at his hair. Maybe then he could stop the urge that he was having, the urge to look up straight at Vriska's face. He worried that she had an expression on her face that he never thought that she would have.

He wanted to scream, he might of already been in the middle of doing so but he wasn't completely sure. Either way it felt as if the back of his throat wanted to launch itself out his mouth and if he was screaming he couldn't hear it only Vriska's sniffling. It was impressively loud for something that was obviously being held back full force.

He turned away, pouncing off his couch and off of her. He looked as if he was going to run straight out his own hive, but all he did was turn around and circle around his sofa like a meow beast. It was all pointless. Every movement he was making was pointless, because he knew he couldn't walk out and from every corner of that room he ended up looking straight back at Vriska who was freaking the fuck out and frankly not in a way that he was comfortable with.

He repeated the motion of circle the room once more before he plopped down on the sofa in a way that, while Karkat would never admit was done in a way that was not too different from a wigglier.

He looked at her for several moments and after one draw out breathe ask her one thing "so you want to talk about it?"


End file.
